GROWING IN CHRIST AS A FAMILY

READINGS: THE HOLY FAMILY

This first Sunday of the year is the celebration of the Holy Family, and both the first reading (Sirach 3:2-6, 12-14) and the second reading (Colossians 3:12-21) paint a picture of how families need to function. In Colossians 3:18-21, St. Paul writes, “Wives, submit yourselves to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord” It is important to note that submission, in this context, is a voluntary choice that the wife makes for the greater good of the family, and not an act of debasement. This is a faith issue, recognizing the husband as the God-appointed leader of the household and it is done “as it fitting in the Lord”. Which means, a woman whose husband is cruel, abusive, and violent is not condemned this role.

The readings, then shift to husbands and says, “Husbands love your wives and do not be harsh with them”. The word used for love here refers to selfless love, sacrificial love, and satisfying love; an unceasing care and loving service for the woman’s entire well-being. It is like the love that Christ has for the church (sacrificial) and like the love men have for themselves (generous). Paul's admonishment here requires a man to keep in mind who his wife is—a gift from God (Proverbs 18:22), a partner for life (Genesis 2:24), and a mother for his children (Genesis 4:1).

Then, the readings speak about children: “Children obey your parents in everything; for this is pleasing to the Lord” and “honor your father and other” (for obedience to parents is a good measure of the level of Christlikeness in our lives). The book of Sirach states that honoring parents is a sign of righteousness, atones for and is firmly planted against the debt of our sin (3:3,14); is a means of divine blessing and disposes God to hear and answer the prayers of those who exercise this virtue (3:5); is a guarantee for long life, prosperity, and temporal power (3:6-7); and even the patience required for the care of an elderly parent is said to strengthen character and that God would look upon children offering such care with compassion (3:12-14). It goes on to state that the respect due to our parents is not something we can neglect or discard without serious consequences, noting that honoring our parents is something that God set up to orient us toward Himself. Honoring our parents is not just about listening and obeying them. It also entails not taking for granted the sacrifices they make for us, taking responsibility for some of the household chores, learning to have a rational discussion about things we disagree about, being patient with them if they can’t see our viewpoint, knowing that they may have insights that we don’t have because we haven’t experienced all the things that they have.

Honoring our parents demands staying connected, and not just in contact, with them, making sure they are taken care of in their old age and connected with their grandchildren. My friends, let us enjoy your parents while they are still here with us!

Forgive their sins and give them a break. It is for our own good. The readings, then touch on the responsibility of parents toward their children: “Fathers do not embitter your children, less they will become discouraged” (Col 3:18-21). Parents have authority but they are not to overdo the authority thing—creating a home that is an overbearing prison, setting goals too high for their children, being inconsistent with their promises, lacking in praise and appreciation, being absent in their children’s life, or creating favoritism leading to sibling jealousy.

Parental authority is to be used to provide a safe and encouraging environment for children to grow up. Children become discouraged when they cannot please, properly obey, or secure a blessing from their parents. Such discouragement can easily lead to depression, withdrawal, or rebellious behaviors.